In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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