do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
