oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
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