I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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