I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
