can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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