You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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