can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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