The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
she smelled like a LAN party
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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