I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
