Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
My bed smells like the plague
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
