whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
