Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize