This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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