community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
