I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
