The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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