Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Randomize