we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize