He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
