Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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