so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
