Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize