she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Randomize