Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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