Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
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so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
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I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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