Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
