sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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