she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
