lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
