It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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