My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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