talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
