Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize