She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
sarcasm needs its own font
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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