Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
then he tried to convert me to islam
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
