walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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