Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize