There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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