You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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