if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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