About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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