Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
