I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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