thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I need to sanitize my soul.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
