if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
