pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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