I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
