There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
