I CAN MOONWALK!
I cockslap morals
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
