You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize