I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
