is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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