Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
i drank out of a bidet.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
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