Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Can I color on your dick again?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
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