No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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