fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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