Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
you would pick up someone in the library
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
