Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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