So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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