It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize