I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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