I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
